Coming up with an actual list of your wedding guests may not be as exciting as your food and cake tasting, picking your wedding gown, and all other much-awaited preparations during your big day. But fret no more, below is a fool-proof guide on how to manage your wedding guest list without being too pressed up for the time.
1. The first goal is to have an ACTUAL draft of your list.
Making the guest list can be messy and overwhelming to work with. But, the first goal in mind is to have an existing list that you can work on gradually. Don’t worry about having to cross out and add names from time to time. After all, that is the very purpose of your draft.
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2. Divvy up the task between the two families
One of the unspoken rules of planning a wedding is the division of the guest list between you and your fiance’s family. Traditionally, the couple takes charge of half of the guest list, and each set of parents gets a quarter of the guest list. So if you’re planning to invite 200 people, you’d get 100 guests, your parents would get 50 and your fiancé’s parents would also get 50. The most drama-free approach is to split the list evenly in three ways.
3. Categorize your list
If time still permits, there should be an assigned category that corresponds to your invited guests. Classify which guests are non-negotiable – those that you can’t imagine missing your big day. There are also guests that can be compromised too, those that you can spend time with other than your wedding day. The purpose of categorizing your guest list is to make it flexible for you and your partner to make necessary changes without having to over redo the entire list.
4. Be realistic about the number of guests
This is also in connection with the previous item. One common mistake during wedding preparations is how some couples tend to over exaggerate their guest list. Crunching the numbers isn’t the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but there is a figure you really can’t avoid: your guest list count. While it’s true that you and your partner want to share this very special moment with most of your loved ones, it is still important to keep track of your budget and the capacity of the venue. Each guest adds to the number of plates your caterer will prepare, favors, chair rentals and how much cake you’ll need. Choose a number that’s larger than your venue’s capacity and you’ll be holding your breath every time you open an RSVP. It’s much better to keep your number on the conservative side.
5. Come up with rules (and be sure to stick to them!)
Making a set of rules on who to invite can go a really long way in determining who your non-negotiable guests are. These rules exemplify the qualifications and justifications in picking out your desired guests. Some of the rules could be: “If neither of you has spoken to or met them or heard their name before, don’t invite them.” or “Not crazy about inviting children to your party? Don’t feel bad about having an adults-only wedding.”
6. Specify names on your response cards
Surely there would be guests who will cramp one to two more names on their RSVP cards. To avoid this awkward problem, the key is to actually print their names on the card with the specified seat allotment. If for some reason, you still get extra write-ins on the days leading up to your wedding day, you can politely tell them the deal that you would love to have everybody at your wedding, but you and your fiance have made budget and venue considerations.
7. Set-up healthy boundaries
And actually stick to them. Yours and your fiance’s parents will inevitably face hard conversations about finalizing your guest list; which includes crossing out some of the guests under your B-list. The key is to set up healthy boundaries within two families involved by making up a deal that is amenable to both parties.
8. It’s okay to not invite some friends and relatives
Setting aside some friends and family is never illegal. But, it should be consensual to both parties involved. Make sure to have a quiet, sit-down conversation with your fiance to avoid unnecessary drama leading up to your big day.
9. Don’t feel bad about having to invite a limited number of guests only
Fewer guests would mean a more intimate celebration! Don’t worry about not having a grander wedding celebration just because your guests are cut to a limited number only. It just doesn’t work that way. So long as the people included in your guest list are the ones who you treasure the most and can’t miss out on this milestone, then you are good to go.
10. You CANNOT cram the guest list. You just can’t.
Because wedding planning is not an overnight project, same goes to your guest list planning. Avoid cramming the guest list by deciding on it at the very start. As much as possible, we want to be eliminating all the unnecessary stress from cramping up the guest list at the last minute.
At Mimi Ebichi Events, we understand that there is more to a wedding than gorgeous decor and amazing entertainment. Knowing this, we strive to connect with your heart so that together, we can create a customized process and deliver an experience unique to you and your guests. We do not just organize your dream wedding, but we strive to make this life’s precious milestone worth the memories.
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